5/19/11

Today was pretty cool. I had fun. Went to Des Moines with Carly, shopping around a bit. I found some stuff I might want, but didn't want to spend a lot of money so I didn't get anything. Carly got a pair of awesome sandals. we left before I really wanted to because I had to pick up Ellie, and Carly was upset. I kinda wanted to go check out some swimming trunks. But ohwellz. No big. After I dropped Ellie off at home, we went to Joey's grad party. It was pretty lame, but Nick and Erin was there so it was that bad. We left there after about 20 mins, and some cake. Carly and I came back to my house to watch the rest of Pirates of the Caribbean numero dos. It's pretty cool. We also did a small puzzle. Fun stuff. We decided to go to Carly's house for dinner and we ended up having a campfire and marshmallows. We also played around in the yard for a little bit, which was fun:) After all the campfireness we went inside to watch t.v. We started off watching some show about sperm whales, so I decided I'd set up my netflix on her Wii. Lol. Sounds dirty. But for realz. We watched some Mr. Bean episode that I'd never heard of. It was actually pretty funny. Then Carly decided she wanted to go to bed, and so I went home.

Lately, I've been playing Spore and Sims: Medieval.Both are pretty awesome. I like Spore more probably. But both are quite fun. Spore is a game where you evolve as a species from a single cell into a society that goes to space and takes over, or trades and becomes friendly with other space faring societies. Pretty awesome. Almost beat it. Sims: Medieval isn't like any other sims game i've ever played. It's kinda like a more single hero type of lvling style. Just started this one.

Change. No, not money.

Change. Do you want it? How do you get it? What do you want to change? Do you want to change anything? How do you know exactly what to change? I have so many questions, and no answers. I want to change, but how do I do it? How do you change certain aspects of your life? How do you take that one minuscule thing and tweak it and turn it so that it is better, or in a more positive light? Can it even be done? Do you just HAVE to be ok with whatever you are given, with how ever you feel, how ever you are? Do you just avoid things that make you feel or seem what you don't want? Is that change? What if you can't do that? My mind is just flowing at ten thousand miles an hour, and I can't stop. I can't even concentrate on my readings. So many questions... What is even desirable at this point? What do you even try to become if you can change? I just have to question everything. Why must I...

It's like a bullet

I'm still here, trudging along in this forest with nothing but my helmet, my rifle, and the clothes on my back. Yeah, I haven't found a way out yet. I've been in this forest for a while now. Searching, waiting for that single ray of light at the end of the sea of branches. I come walking into this clearing, and then I see her, but as I reach towards her, I'm shot. Shot through the shoulder, he's found me. Anytime I get close I'm instantly stopped dead in my tracks. Always under fire by my all consuming enemy. She turns and walks slowly towards the trees as I lay here bleeding. She couldn't do anything that I couldn't do for my wound already. It's just how these flesh wounds work. Gotta wait it out, through all the pain and suffering, no matter the strife.

Dreams, Mine mostly

I love dreams, and I love how I can remember them so easily. I had one amazing one last night. That kinda turned bad at spots, but what's a story without conflict? I once thought of making stories based on my dreams because I can remember them in such detail. Being a writter would be cool, but also kinda hard. You'd have to be really good and have a best seller to get any money out of it. Maybe like on the side. That'd be cool. I also kinda really want to be a sound technician. That would be awesome. Not much on the agenda for today. Just social networking stuffs and what not. I might research on how to get my blog more popular or get more readers or anything. If you have a comment on how or something or even just a question or topic you'd like me to discuss just leave it in a comment below and I'll be happy to respond. Aighty, catch ya guys later. Peace.

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Dia

Today. It started out alright. Just. Stuff felt wrong. Felt against me. I made it through classes alright, and did some work. I was fine. I started killing people, in a game of course, which always makes everything better, right? Then boom. I just got hit. Shot. I didn't even know how to react. My body just freaked out. My mind running at a million miles an hour, without really thinking of anything. Like a blur. Why... It doesn't matter how you portray it or even how you see it. I will always see it as that moment in which I become not yours anymore. Out of sight, out of reach. Out of thought... Why does this seem to happen with everyone. I hate it. It's the worst thing imaginable, but yet it keeps coming back. I can't stand it. What must I do... I'm sorry. Just go. I promised.

Just please...when you go, as I lay here with this bullet through my chest, remember me when you're through with what you will.

I'm sorry

Love

Quickly

This post isn't going to be very long. I just popped this out to say a couple of things.

Firstly, I love Carly Stine, A lot, A LOT more than I ever imagined I could ever love anyone. She's the love of my life, and I can't wait for all the amazing things that will happen.

Secondly, you gotta remember to go through life without taking everyone or everything to seriously. People will always just end pissing you off when you take a small jest to seriously and people will troll you, and troll you hard. So just relax, bro.

Thirdly, and lastly, I realized how much eating right and sleeping right effects me, and I'm sure effects everyone. Lately I've noticed changes in thoughts, and behaviors, and moods depending on amount of sleep, and difference in food intake. So, just be cool about what you eat, and get enough sleep. 'Nuff said.

Peace

Sometimes

Sometimes, I don't even know why I right, or rather, type this blog. Sometimes, I wonder why I'm here. Sometimes, if just feels wrong. Sometimes, everything falls apart. Sometimes, everything seems perfect. Sometimes, right things happen. Sometimes, they don't. Sometimes, you make the right choices. Sometimes, you do the right things. Sometimes, you succeed. Sometimes, you feel accomplished. Sometimes, you feel important. Sometimes, you are happy. Sometimes, you win. But SOMETIMES, you fail and you fall. And on those days, in those darks hours, is when your real self rears its ugly head to show those unfortunate enough to know you what you really are, what you can become, what you are capable of, to frighten everyone away until you are completely and utterly alone. You are, but only human.

Sick

Hey. I'm sick. And I feel like crap. AND it's a friday, so I pretty much won't be doing anything tonight. WOO! I never seem to get enough sleep... and last night I must've done something weird to my neck cause it hurts a lot. Ugh. Just a bad day altogether so far and its only 9:35. Gross. I like it and hate it here. I got good internets, friends, and food, but no Carly. I got Ranch flavored sunflower seeds though, so that's a plus. I kinda wanna record something, but idk what to record and post. Like, it has to be cool, and funny, but I suck at thinking of things. Ohwellz. Also, I wanna play some different games, but idk which to play. Like, I've been playing a lot of wow lately, but like, its expensive and takes up a lot of time in college for stuff, so I was thinking of doing something like TFT, or MapleStory, or something else, god forbid Runescape. Christ. Lol. Well I gotta go to math. Tyyl. Leave a reply or something if you got any thoughts on anything. AuRevoir.

For Cody

Hey Cody. This post is a dedication to you. Sorry you got tonsillitis or whatever you got thats gross. Lol. Hope you get better. Love you. And you're humping Nick. So stop. Lol.